Hollister : A Short Play

by Charlie Albuery

Int. A dark room, like seriously, crazily dark, there are random plants and Chesterfield sofas dotted around; it smells of own-brand Hollister deodorant and pretension.

Our young, dashing hero, Charlie, enters through an unnecessary porch and an entrance irritatingly marked ‘Dudes’ – he notes the other entrance is marked ‘Betties’ and proceeds to curmudgeonly mutter; this continues throughout the scene.

Charlie – Why did we have to come in here?

Charlie’s cousin (who is far too brand-aware for his own good) – Because I want a Hollister shirt!

Charlie goes to berate his cousin but is interrupted as a scantily clad woman resembling a Disney princess emerges from behind a large, artificial, utterly unnecessary spider plant.

Bikini-Ariel – Hi, welcome to Hollister (She smiles in a way akin only to Heath Ledger in his excellent portrayal of the Joker.) Can I interest you boys in anything?

Charlie – (Aware his cousin will attempt to flirt with this woman as she has a face and an oxygen supply) No we’re good thanks.

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Charlie is, by this point, aware he is going to write this article, he notes, and is further irritated by the crystal chandelier and elephant-pattern wallpaper – by this point convinced the gaudily decorated doors were in fact a looking glass and he is now in a bizarre world where a raven is like a writing desk.

Charlie – Ok, I’m gonna write a thing about this, I’ll get a photo of myself in one of the shirts for, like, a punch line.

Charlie’s cousin– I am one of Hollister’s brainless fringe-zombies, you should buy one

He turns to a second modal/shop assistant/epitome of perfection

Charlie – Do you have anything in an XL?

Tank-Top Tiana- No, sorry (She cracks a smile that clearly says ‘Not a place for you – fatty’)
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Charlie – But he’s like 6’5’ and he’s got one of the shirts on (he indicates Abs McGee who is straightening an utterly appropriately placed portrait of a Chihuahua)

Tank-Top Tiana – (apparently not realising repetition was not an acceptable response to Charlie’s point) No, sorry.

Charlie harrumphs and makes his way over to take a photo with a rack of the Hollister shorts; he goes to take a photo with these as a substitute for his original plan.

Colonel Swiggety Swag– Sorry sir, you’re not allowed to take photos in Hollister

Charlie – (Now angered by the surprising consistency with which he has been apologized to in the last 90 seconds) I’m sorry, are you serious?

Captain Gel-Fringe(n.b. same person as Colonel Swiggety Swag) – Yeah buddy, but you can take photos in the porch way.

Charlie(apparently General Arm-Flexer’s buddy) – What is a porch way?

Sergeant Bright-Shorts – The bit outside

Charlie – (sarcastically) Oh, so I can take photos outside of Hollister? How kind of you…

Charlie storms from the shop, tripping over a miscellaneous collection of surfboards and overpriced bracelets as he goes. He turns to beckon his cousin to follow him, at which point he sees the ‘Betties’ sign again, and storms away in disgust, never to return.

‘Don’t You Forget About Me’ plays as Charlie walks towards the front of the stage. Casting a middle finger up into the air and backward toward the store, he freezes.

Fin

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Is Bale the Real Deal?

by Zoe Rundle



Gareth Bale
(Wiki commons)

Ok, so if you arrive in Madrid with an £85 million price tag you've clearly got some sort of talent. But when you're just a young lad from Wales who grew up under the influence of father Frank, a school caretaker, and mother Debbie, an operations manager, you must be pretty special. For Gareth Bale, the boy from Whitchurch, transferring over to Real Madrid for a world-record fee can only be described as a dream come true as a new chapter opens in the career that's only just beginning.

Growing up, Bale was just like any ordinary kid who loved football and idolised the Welsh wizard Ryan Giggs. He attended Whitchurch High School and, unbelievably, was in the same class as Welsh rugby captain Sam Warburton and national cycling hero Geraint Thomas. Bale caught the eye of Southampton, aged just nine, while playing a six-a-side tournament for his first club Cardiff Civil Service. However, it wasn't just football that the Welshman excelled in; hockey, rugby and even sprinting also featured in Bale's repertoire and it's even been rumoured that he was able to run 100m in 11.4 seconds aged only 14. Despite this, it was football that Bale pursued and school PE teacher Mr Morris had to prevent Bale from using his left foot and limit him to one-touch passing in order to make it fairer on the other boys. While at school, Bale showed the much-needed commitment by travelling several times each week to Southampton's satellite academy in Bath and as a result his game was improving day-by-day. Aged sixteen, he was in the Whitchurch under-eighteen side that won the Cardiff and Vale Senior Cup and was awarded a PE prize for his services to sport. During the presentation, teacher Mr Morris said how Bale had "a fierce determination to succeed" and "the character and qualities to achieve his personal goals" - something he would go on to do.

The youngster left school in 2005 and less than a year later became the second youngest player to represent Southampton (behind a certain man named Theo Walcott). In April 2006, at the age of sixteen years and two-hundred-and-seventy-five days he made his debut in a 2-0 victory over Millwall and it looked as if the move away from home at such a young age was worth it. He became the youngest player ever to play for Wales as he appeared as a substitute in a 2-1 win over Trinidad and Tobago on May 26th 2006. He assisted the winning goal scored by Robert Earnshaw and Bryan Flynn was quick to compare his technical ability to that of Bale's childhood hero Ryan Giggs. Later that year he scored his first league goal, in the form of a free kick, to level the score in a 1-1 draw at Derby County. Bale netted with another free kick in Southampton's second game of the 2006-2007 season and started to build-up a reputation from set-pieces continuing to score more from a dead-ball against the likes of Hull and Norwich. In October, Bale was called up to the Welsh squad again and became the youngest player ever to score a goal for his national team by netting another free kick against Slovakia. Life was pretty good for the Welsh youngster and his Premier League goal tally was up to five by Christmas. Bale started to gather up some high-profile awards, such as the BBC Wales Young Sports Personality of the Year. A few months later, in March 2007, the then-defender was named the Football League Young Player of the Year and connections were starting to be made with top-flight clubs. A second goal in a Welsh jersey was put to his name as he scored in a 3-0 win over San Marino on March 28th. He later stated that it was "an honour to play for Wales". After suffering an injury during the first leg of Southampton's Championship play-off semi-final, Bale's season and time at Southampton was over. He didn't feature again for the club and moved to Tottenham Hotspur that summer.

A four-year deal was on the cards and Bale cost the London club a mere £7 million, something that now seems like one of the biggest bargains of football history. Big things were expected from the lad who had sacrificed so much for his dream and he was now about to embark on what would be an up-and-down journey at Tottenham Hotspur. The 2007-2008 season was just around the corner and it would turn out to be a rocky road for the Welshman. The season started well and Bale made his competitive debut at the Theatre of Dreams in Tottenham's second game of the season. He went on to score his first goal in a 3-3 draw with Fulham in early September as he charged down the left-flank and coolly finished past Niemi. Since Bale's name was now synonymous with the phrase "free kick", it only seemed natural that this how he scored in his first North-London derby against Arsenal. The ball sailed in past the near post and as far as Spurs fans were concerned, this was already enough to give him a legendary status. He continued his fine start to the season with a goal in the League Cup tie against Middlesbrough; Bale had now scored three goals in four starts for Tottenham. However, things were about to go downhill. The rising star was substituted on the 2nd of December following a tackle from Fabrice Muamba. It was discovered that Bale had suffered ligament damage to his right ankle and surgery was necessary. By February 2008, it became clear that he would miss the rest of the season and the Tottenham Sporting Director Damien Comolli said that the decision had been made to "bring him back slowly to ensure he does not get a repeat of the injury or suffer any further damage".

After such a promising start to his Spurs career, Gareth Bale started the 2008-2009 campaign with a few uninspiring performances, despite signing a new four-year contract at the start of the season. He was soon dropped and remained the second-choice left-back behind Benoit Assou-Ekotto. The following season continued on as the previous one had ended - in a rather dull manner for Bale. The Welshman missed pre-season and the first-few weeks of the league campaign after he underwent further surgery for his knee. He returned on the September 26th as a substitute and came on in the 85th minute; Tottenham recorded a 5-0 win over Burnley and it was the first time that Bale had been on the winning side as a Spurs player, despite 24 previous attempts. However, since Assou-Ekotto was in good form, it became difficult for Bale to get in the starting eleven. Nevertheless, Bale still recieved another call up to the Welsh National Side and he started the World Cup qualifier against Finland. Four days later he set up David Vaughan who scored the opening goal against Liechtenstein and won a free kick which was scored by Aaron Ramsey for the second. The Premier League season continued and Bale knew that he had to take his chance when it came. After an impressive performance in the FA Cup third-round against Peterborough, and aided by a slight injury to Cameroon-international Assou-Ekotto, Bale was given the go-ahead as Spurs met local rivals Fulham in the January of 2010. Redknapp's men earned a 2-0 victory and the left-back's game started to improve. In April, he scored the winning goal in the North-London derby, much to the delight of all associated with Tottenham Hotspur, and three days later produced a man-of-the-match performance against eventual champions Chelsea after scoring the winner with his weaker right foot. Clearly all that practice with Bale's right foot, thanks to Mr Morris back at school, was paying off! The Welshman was named Barclays Player of the Month for April 2010 and signed yet another four-year contract in May after helping Tottenham secure Champions League football for the first time in their history.

The 2010-2011 season is surely one that Bale will remember for a long time to come. He started the season in phenomenal form scoring twice in a 2-1 win at Stoke City in August (with the second of these goals later awarded Goal of the Month by the BBC). Less than a week later, Tottenham beat Young Boys 4-0 to take them into the Champions League group stages and it was Bale that set up all four goals. The lad from Whitchurch soon moved into the left-wing position in order to accommodate Benoit Assou-Ekotto at left-back who had returned from injury. In September, Bale netted his first Champions League goal against FC Twente and was consequently named Welsh Player of the Year. His next Champions League goal, or should I say goals, are sure to live in the memories of several thousand Spurs fans. It was the 20th of October and the San Siro was the location. Tottenham were to take on the European giants Inter Milan and it was the manner in which this game played out that made it so special. After going 4-0 down in thirty-five minutes, and playing with ten men for over eighty minutes after Spurs' goalkeeper Gomez had been shown red early on, a Gareth Bale hat trick saw the game end 4-3. All his goals came from a surge down the left-wing followed by a fierce shot that flew past the Inter keeper. In the return leg, another man-of-the-match performance from Gareth Bale saw the London side win 3-1; the Welshman set up goals for Jermain Defoe and Roman Pavlyuchenko. With these two performances buzzing in the minds of several top European clubs, Bale showed his loyalty to Spurs by extending his stay at the club until 2015. In the April of 2011, he was honoured with the PFA Player of the Year award which was voted for by his peers.

The 2011-2012 season lived up to expectations and Gareth Bale started strongly once again. He netted against the likes of Wigan, managed two against Queens Park Rangers, and heavily influenced those scored against Fulham. The 3rd of December 2011 saw Tottenham take on Bolton Wanderers and it turned out to be a rather emotional day. Bale scored and followed by holding up his left boot which read "R.I.P Gary Speed". The message for the former Bolton and Wales midfielder was received well and the legacy of Gary Speed lived on. Bale continued his fine form with goals against Norwich and Wigan which soon took his tally for the season into double figures. Success didn't stop there for the Welshman as he was named in the UEFA Team of the Year for 2011 and earned the Premier League Player of the Month for January 2012 after three goals and two assists in this period. At the end of the season, a new four-year contract was agreed and Bale looked set to stay at the club until 2016.  

Bale embarked on his sixth season as a Tottenham Hotspur player and, as he was now more of a left-winger, he changed his squad number to eleven. He scored against Reading and then at Old Trafford, helping Spurs gain their first win at Old Trafford since 1989. International call ups were now becoming rather common and in the October of 2012, Bale scored two goals in a 2-1 victory over Scotland in a World Cup qualifier. His first Premier League hat trick came on Boxing Day against Aston Villa and he started the New Year well with goals against Coventry, in the FA Cup, Norwich and Newcastle to bring him to fifteen goals for the season. It left the London club in third position and strengthened their ambitions for Champions League football once again. A Bale brace in the first leg of Tottenham's Europa League round-of-thirty-two helped them see off Lyon after two incredible trademark free kicks found the back of the net. He continued his electric form against West Ham by scoring twice again. A long-range dipping shot from over thirty yards was the highlight of a world-class performance from Bale and he was simply in the form of his life. His eight goals in six games proved this. As March came around, the Welshman scored against Arsenal in yet another North-London derby which Tottenham won 2-1. Less than a week later, it was a rematch of the Champions League tie in 2010 as Spurs faced Inter Milan. The former won 3-0 with Bale bagging the first. More awards started coming the winger's way as he won the BBC Goal of the Month in both January and February for strikes against Norwich and West Ham respectively. Furthermore, he was also awarded the Premier League Player of the Month for February. Despite picking up an injury against FC Basel in the first leg of the Europa League quarter final, he returned quickly and gained a goal and an assist against Manchester City, much to the thrill of the packed out crowd at White Hart Lane. Towards the end of April, Bale picked up the PFA Player of the Year award for the second time, but also added the PFA Young Player of the Year award too. He then went on to collect the Footballer Writer's Association Player of the Year award, making him only the second player to have won all three of these prestigious awards in the same year, the other being Cristiano Ronaldo. Bale finished the season strongly scoring against his former club Southampton and then, from twenty-five yards, out against Sunderland. Unfortunately this was not quite enough to grant Tottenham Champions League football but, as for Bale, his superb form had caught the eye of one of Europe's greatest clubs and this level of football looked to be on the cards.

After a long summer of speculation, Bale eventually made a boyhood dream a reality as, on the 1st of September, Real Madrid confirmed that an agreement had been reached for Wales' new wizard. A six-year deal had been agreed, which was thought to be in the region of £85 million. It surpassed that of Cristiano Ronaldo and the kid from Whitchurch became the world's most expensive footballer. It seems crazy to think that someone of this caliber may not ever get the chance to play in a World Cup, but for now Gareth Bale can focus on a new start and life in Madrid. All that travelling and hard work as a child, as well as the persistence through injury concerns, has paid off and it proves that with the right attitude anything is possible. Bale is now on top of the world and has become a player that young children look up to. What is so admired, is the sheer determination, the fact he's a dream-chaser and someone that refuses to give in. Let's hope this sensational form continues in Madrid and we can look forward to many more years of Bale's magic.    

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Mathematical Fallacies

by Sampad Sengupta

A fallacy is a mistaken belief, one based on unsound argument. It may be an idea that a lot of people think is true but is in fact false. Now, in mathematics, a proof is an argument, a deductive argument for a mathematical statement.  It may use statements which are already established, i.e. theorems, and logic; a proof can be made by mathematical induction, contradiction, exhaustion, and many other ways.  However, even some arguments like these may turn out to be fallacies.  There are certain so-called mathematical proofs which may apparently show some unexpected statements to be true by cleverly concealing areas in the proof, but these statements are indeed false.

Here are a few examples of such fallacies and the truth behind each one of them:

1)      Proof of 2=1:

Let a and b be equal non-zero quantities,

a = b

Multiplying through by a

a²= ab

Subtracting  b²from both sides

a²- b² = ab-b²

Factorising the equation

(a-b)(a+b) = b(a-b)

Dividing out (a – b)

a+b = b

Since a=b

b+b = b

2b = b

Dividing both sides by b

2 = 1

At first glance this looks quite remarkable, but if you look closely, you can spot the error. The proof starts off soundly, but then the mistake creeps in when we divide out by (a-b). Since a and b are both equal, (a-b) is zero. Since division by zero is undefined, the argument is invalid.  If it were valid, then it would be possible to prove any number to be equal to any other number, but it isn’t.

2)      Proof of 0=2:

0 = 1-1

Since square of 1 = 1

0 = 1-1²

0 = 1 - √1²

Adding and subtracting 4 under square root as they will cancel each other out

0 = 1 - √1² – 4 + 4

Since (1² – 4 + 4) = (1 – 2)²

0 = 1 - √(1-2)²

We then remove the square root and multiply out the brackets

0 = 1 - (1 – 2)

0 = 1 – 1 + 2

The two 1s cancel out leaving

0 = 2

Once again, an equation like this cannot be true. The problem lies when we are taking the square root of 1².  Taking square roots requires the use of the double plus-or-minus sign + (or absolute values).  In this case, when we take the square root of 1², the results should be both +1 and –1. Thus, this proof is also invalid.

3)      Proof of  0=2:  (this time by a different method)

Let us take an equation which we know to be true,

cos² x = 1 – sin² x

Taking the square root of both sides

cos x = (1 – sin² x)^1/2

Adding 1 to both sides

1 + cos x = 1 + (1 – sin² x)^1/2

By evaluating this when x = 180⁰

1 – 1 = 1 + (1 – 0)^1/2

Thus showing

0 = 2

In equations like these, the fallacy may be concealed effectively in notation.  Similar to the previous one, the error in each of these examples fundamentally lies in the fact that any equation of the form x² = a²has two solutions:  +a, provided a is not equal to 0.

In this example, only when the square root of cos x is positive is the equation valid, but when x is set to 180⁰, the proof is invalid.

4)      Proof of 1=2 using complex numbers and the imaginary unit ( i = √-1 ):

- (1/1) = - (1/1)

- 1/1 = 1/-1

Square root both sides

√-1/1 = √1/-1

Simplifying

√-1 / √1 = √1 / √-1

Converting √-1 to imaginary number i

i / 1 = 1 / i

Multiplying both sides by ½

i / 2 = 1 / (2i)

Adding 3/(2i)to both sides

i/2 + 3/(2i) = 1/(2i) + 3/(2i)

Multiplying both sides by i

i(i/2 + 3/(2i)) =i(1/(2i) + 3/(2i))

Simplifying

(i²)/2 + (3i)/2i = i/(2i) + (3i)/2i

Converting i² term to -1 and adding fractions

(-1)/2 + 3/2 = 1/2 + 3/2

1 = 2

This so-called proof makes use of complex numbers, thus making it hard to find the error.  The fallacy here lies in the third step.  In simplifying from step two to three, we try to make two things equal that are not.  We have √(-1/1) = √(1/-1) in step two.  The left-hand side (LHS) does simplify to √(-1)/√(1), which is the LHS in step three.  The right-hand side (RHS) in step two √(1/-1) does not simplify to √(1)/√(-1), which is what we see as the RHS in step three.  In fact, it is -√(1)/√(-1).   A more careful examination of negative numbers will help explain the fallacy clearly.  The product of (-1)(-1) is one. So √(-1*-1) = √(1) = 1. Yet √(-1)√(-1) = i*i = i²= -1.  So these two products are not the same.  Hence the rule of √(ab) = √(a)√(b) holds true as a rule when a and b are both positive numbers.  For negative and complex numbers, however, this rule fails to hold true.

These were only a few examples of fallacies in mathematics, all of which are achieved by carefully concealing sections of the proof which are not true.  So the next time someone comes up to you and shows you a proof which seems correct but cannot be, you know what to look out for. 

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RN/RAF Summer Camp 2013

by Charlie Henderson

Early on the Monday of the second week of the summer holidays, thirty cadets from the Navy and Air Force sections of PGS' CCF, set off for the Brecon Beacons, in Wales. Each cadet would go caving, canoeing and gorge walking.

Our first activity was caving in the heart of the Brecon Beacons. One of the first things you notice on entering a cave is the drop in temperature (from 30°c to about 6°c).  As we descended into the gloom, our instructor explained how the limestone walls of the cave were eroded by acidic water over hundreds of millions of years. As we moved further into the cave the ceiling dropped until we were commando-crawling through a passage 30cm high and 100cm wide that was going steeply downwards. The passage then opened into a cavern almost 20 metres high, with a stream running down the centre. On the walls and ceiling grew a lichen which reflected the light from our head torches, giving the cave a surreal air. After exploring the cramped lower levels of the cave we took part in an orienteering exercise.

After two nights of comfort in the centre we loaded a minibus with camping kit for a night out on the banks of the river Wye. We drove a short distance to the river Wye, with a trailer stacked with canoes and camping gear.  Our route would take us through Hay-on-Wye and the surrounding farmland and finish, ten miles downstream, in Witney-on-Wye. Two to a canoe we set off, negotiating ourselves around rapids and the occasional fisherman; and after a mid-way swimming break we arrived at our campsite six hours after setting off.

On our last full day we drove through the Brecon Beacons to series of gorges at the base of one of a barren mountain. We slid down a steep bank and dropped into the stream. Soon we reached our first jump, a couple of metres off the top a waterfall, into the plunge pool below. the climax of the activity was a six metre jump, into a 10 metre deep pool. After you jumped you were in free fall for more than a second, and hit the water at almost 40 km/h.

The trip was extremely enjoyable, and gave all of us the opportunities experience activities that many hadn’t done before. Thanks must go to Mr Harris and Mrs Carter for organising such a fantastic trip, and to all the staff at Trewern OEC for their enthusiasm and expertise which made the trip unforgettable. 

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Review: "I Wanna Be Yours"

by Louisa Dassow

John Cooper Clarke (right)
(24.media.tumbler.com)

Overly excited on the morning of the 9th September, I sat arguing with my laptop that my iPod was connected. Of course I was attempting to download "AM", the new Arctic Monkeys album before I had to scramble to get ready for school. Now I'd like to imagine that this frantic downloading experience was the reason that my brain made no immediate connection with the final song of the album, "I Wanna Be Yours". Alongside the other track names such as "Knee Socks" and "Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?", it didn't strike me as being out of place and it fitted with the more generic song titles that came to mind (indeed within the rest of my music library I have seven other songs which begin I want/I wanna).

But I was wrong; it was definitely not a generic choice of song title. 

When I finally reached the last track, the first line struck a memory bell inside my head; but it didn't quite ring true and I simply couldn't place where I'd heard the words before. It wasn't until perhaps the sixth time I listened to it that I was flung back into my old English classroom, I had spent hours studying the poem and I had even written my own version of the abstract lyrics. It's a staple of the English curriculum. So why on earth was it on the Arctic Monkeys' album (see video below to hear the song)? 
 

The bulk of the lyrics in this song were actually written almost thirty years ago by the punk poet John Cooper Clarke. The man in question already held a place on my iPod for his poem "Kung Fu International", but he is also rumoured to hold a place on part of Alex Turner's anatomy in the form of a tattoo, however if such a tattoo exists it has not yet been revealed to the public. Either way the poet definitely holds a place in Mr Turner's heart who claims that Clarke showed him that he could sing in his northern accent and his poetry inspired him to give song-writing a go. When writing the song "From the Ritz to the Rubble" (another favourite of mine), Turner was trying to emulate the style of his literary hero.

The song "I Wanna Be Yours" does contain all of the original poem; however, the band made a slight alteration, adding in the lyrics "Secrets I have held in my heart/Are harder to hide than I thought". Personally I don't think the additional lines add much more to the poem; however, in the context of the song the slight change in tone makes it slightly more interesting to listen to. The song is fairly melancholic, which doesn't quite capture the almost ironic meaning of Clarke's poem, but Turner defends this representation of the poem saying that the juxtaposition of the original meaning and the sound of the song makes it "more exciting" and he says his unusual twist is simply him being a "smart-arse."

The song does have Clarke's personal approval and I'm sure that, in this case, John Cooper Clarke's opinion is the most important opinion to the band. Anyway, I like it.

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The Swedish: T/S Gunilla

by Isabel Stark

I’m in love.

Not with a person, but with a country. That country is Sweden.

T/S Gunilla
(wiki commons)

For the past two years, when the T/S Gunilla has made berth, my sister and I waited with bated breath to find out which of the students from Öckerö Gymnasieskola we would host. Each year we became charmed with the effervescent personality of the Swedes; this year was no different.

Hanna, Jenny and now Jonna- each individuals in their own right and incomparable apart from their shared sense of adventure, their vivacious smiles and, of course, their sheer love of life which has changed and marked us permanently and irreversibly. The dream-like stories of crossing the Atlantic, 17 days at sea, 17 days with nothing but deep sapphire on the horizon. The romanticism of the stories can easily overshadow the astounding fact that the crossing was made by fearless 16 year olds, for most of whom it was their first ever experience sailing. These incredible experiences haven’t soured the enchanting personalities but instead the sparkling temperaments they all possess have been enhanced by this wonderful opportunity to travel the world. They all have a charm, a charisma- some form of magnetism well beyond their 17 years, which allows them to effortlessly slot into any social situation and use their gay, spirited and happy go lucky attitude to effortlessly make friends.

Sweden has always been a country I yearned to visit: clogs, knitwear, Pippi Longstocking; what more can you want? I always knew the Swedes had incredible dress sense, their design and ability to marry style and quality as well as ignoring the dull, tasteless global consumer brands like Hollister and Jack Wills is something I admire. But after seeing clothes that included the handknitted thick, wool jumpers (which can only be described as beautiful) that two of the Swedes wore I can only admire their style even more. One, flecked navy and white wool in the typical knit stitch with a ribbed collar and ribbed cuffs was a jumper I could only dream of owning, it was a jumper knitted by the boy’s grandmother. That same fair haired, fair skinned boy possessed round John Lennon style sunglasses, a polka dot baseball cap and a bright fuschia rucksack and a waxed cotton jacket all topped off with a gold watch. He looked effortlessly relaxed and unbelievably current. He wasn’t an isolated case of an extremely well dressed Swede; they all were casual and effortless, the girls looked natural- it was refreshing to see. 

Then when Jonna talked of her idyllic, stereotypical Swedish home-a red log cabin on the edge of a forest and I felt a sense of pure bliss, that’s when I realised I loved Sweden. I’d never been there but I loved it. The Swedish design, the clothes and most of all the people and their attitude. After spending just an hour with them, I felt entirely comfortable with them something which seems to take months in England, and after spending a day with them at school I gained some extraordinary new, loving friends.   Friends who I will never forget and friends who I will visit in Sweden.

To the students on board T/S Gunilla: thank you so much for letting me get to know you, I had a wonderful time meeting you all and I will see you soon. Love, Isabel.

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Seafront at Sunset

by Tony Hicks

Images of a beautiful sunset in Old Portsmouth, taken yesterday evening.

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A Response To "Why Abortion Should Not Remain Legal"

by Ben Schofield

I am writing in response to the previous article, "Why Abortion Should Not Remain Legal", which I strongly oppose for reasons that I will list in detail below. I invite the writer to write and defend his position accordingly.

1. The article began with the bold claim: "Abortion is bad. This should be the start of any discussion about this sensitive issue." At the same time as calling it a sensitive issue, this statement is in itself insensitive. Rather than presenting this as the opinion it obviously is, the writer delivered it as directly as someone saying "my pen has black ink", which shuts down the debate the piece was designed to create.

2. The article notably lacked sources for any of the extreme claims it made about the bad effects of abortion. There is absolutely no evidence that having an abortion causes psychological harm. I'll say that again because it is important: there is absolutely no evidence having an abortion causes psychological harm. [Quoting Tamara Khandaker] "In 2008, the American Psychological Association formed the Task Force on Mental Health and Abortion to examine all research on the relationship between abortion and mental health and found no evidence that having a single abortion causes mental health problems. Severe mental health complications are rare, and feelings of loss and anxiety could easily be associated with whatever led the woman to get an abortion and not the abortion itself."* Correlation does not imply causality.

Continuing this point, according to the UK's Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists there is no link between induced termination and an increase in fertility**.

These two points are very important and are integral to why I oppose the previous article; it just reveals it as being poorly researched. The only places that spread this misinformation tend to be "Crisis Pregnancy Centres" set up in the appearance of legitimacy only to give misinformation to women when they are in an extremely vulnerable state.

3. It is not an article saying why abortion is bad. It is an article that begins with that premise and then goes on to say what we should be doing. By saying what we should be doing, the writer accepts that we are not currently doing it (i.e. providing enough financial care for those who can't afford a baby, or supporting women worried about their future). Surely this would then provide an argument that abortion should remain legal because we do not have these facilities, which would be taxing and impossible to run on a wide enough scale to remove these *un-cited* factors facing women. Once again, the article provides no evidence to say how many women face economic or social factors in deciding as to get an abortion, thereby negating the argument to an emotive one. There could be ten thousand cases or there could be ten. There is no point including this point if the article does not give a sense of scale.

4. What about the women who have carefully considered that they are not ready to have a child? If a woman feels unready I would argue it is perfectly within her rights to avoid the responsibility. I would also say that it is within her rights not to have to bear the responsibility for a minimum of 9 months before the baby can be adopted. The duration and difficulty of pregnancy is criminally misrepresented by those who consider adoption to be comparable as a method of getting rid of an unwanted child. (Excluding cluster headaches) labour is the greatest pain women will endure in their lives. Even before that pregnancy is a horrific responsibility which many are not mature enough to deal with, for nine months you can't drink, you must control your eating, you cannot perform simple tasks, your presence is both revered and marginalized by society, you effectively become a slave to your offspring.

 

After reading this I hope the writer of “Why Abortion Should Not Remain Legal” consider what he has written and whether he still stands by it.

*http://www.apa.org/pi/women/programs/abortion/ 
** http://www.rcog.org.uk/induced-termination-pregnancy-and-future-reproductive-outcomes-%E2%80%93-current-evidence.  
 

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Why Abortion Should Not Remain Legal

Daniel Rollins writes in response to Grace Gawn's article "Why Abortion Should Remain Legal", published previously on the blog and in Portsmouth Point magazine.

Abortion is bad. This should be the start of any discussion about this sensitive issue. However you feel about access to abortion and the personhood of a foetus, the killing of a potential human being is not something. Why then has abortion changed from a last resort for mothers whose health is in danger or are unable to look after a baby to a considered option for many pregnancies? 

The idea that abortions do, in fact, have moral or ethical weight has been suppressed in this culture. However, every so often our buried objection to the practice is exposed. The widespread objection to pro-life protesters showing pictures of the remains of aborted foetuses, insensitive though it is, is evidence that there is an ethical element to the debate, not just on the side of the mother but for the protection of the foetus. If a woman’s “right” to have sex without having to take responsibility for any babies produced is valued more than any baby’s right to exist then something is very much amiss. 

Conversely much of the opposition to the pro-life movement focuses on its apparent misogyny, favouring the life of the baby over the woman. While the mother is at least as important as the baby she is carrying, it must be recognised that an abortion is not a positive result for either. Many women suffer emotional pain or psychological harm during and after undergoing an abortion, as well as the small risk (admittedly much smaller than the risks from a “backstreet abortion” common before the practice was legalised) of complications such as infertility and haemorrhage.

The real misogyny in this debate does not come from either the pro-life or pro-choice factions but from society’s general neglect of mothers. “Pro-choicers” often illustrate their arguments with examples of young or poor women who are unable to support or raise their child or whose lives would be adversely affected by having a baby. Abortion is presented as the only ethical solution to the situation. Surely the real scandal of the situation is not that woman’s lack of access to an abortion but the fact that the woman must consider finances when weighing up a foetus’ life or that she must choose between her future and her baby’s? There must be a better way to deal with these cases, alternatives to abortion.

The only way the pro-life movement can have any credibility in this debate is by providing these alternatives. Instead of just protesting and condemning women who have abortions, they must provide practical alternatives in which both the life of the baby and the life of the mother are considered.

There are many shocking statistics that have come out of China: 500,000 people in prison without trial, thousands of executions, but perhaps the most shocking statistic of all is that 330 million abortions take place in China each year (over 900,000 per day on average). Many, if not most, of these abortions are forced, either directly by officials upholding the country’s one-child policy or indirectly by the financial burden of a second child when state support is lifted. While women in the West are thankfully freer in their decision whether to have an abortion, the concept of a financially forced abortion is still a problem for many women with low incomes. The cost of raising a baby, providing food and finding childcare may push both the mother and baby into poverty, forcing a woman to choose between feeding herself and having an abortion. The obvious way to save a woman in this situation from having to make that decision is by giving her money, funding programs that provide food and affordable housing for pregnant women and new mothers in poverty. This funding could come from either government or charity (maybe even those protesting abortion clinics), whichever corporate expression of compassion your political position prefers. Promoting adoption as an alternative to an abortion and providing women who choose to keep their baby with jobs with flexible hours and attached childcare, although difficult to provide in the currently depressed labour market, would also prevent mothers having to choose to have an abortion out of financial fears.

Another fear that can force women to make a choice about abortion is how having a baby could affect their future. When discussing this issue, several young women expressed fears about how an unplanned pregnancy would affect their future education and opportunities. Although the life of foetus may be considered more valuable than any of these opportunities, it is still a tragedy that young women who fall pregnant must choose between their future and that of their baby. Girls who become pregnant while in education should be given support by their school, college or university, which would allow them to keep studying for as long as possible and, after giving birth, they should be given further support if they choose to not give their baby up for adoption so that their education is affected as little as possible by their pregnancy. This would allow them to gain knowledge and training to find a job to support their baby and also provide them with personal opportunities to fulfil their own potential.

However the most effective way to prevent women having to make a pressured decision about abortion is through preventing unplanned pregnancy in the first place. When asked on Twitter, a feminist blogger suggested three ways to provide alternatives to abortion: combating poverty and lack of support for women; creating better awareness and use of contraception; and providing better Sex and Relationships Education (SRE). Modern contraception gives people almost complete control over their fertility, therefore better use of it should prevent many unwanted pregnancies and abortions.

This is why women (and, importantly, men too) need to take responsibility for any pregnancies both in prevention and in the case of conception, whether planned or unplanned. In the case of an unwanted pregnancy, women should not be forced into having an abortion by financial or social factors but, equally, should not use abortion as an escape from the shock of an unwanted pregnancy but take responsibility for the life inside and seek to look after the child, whether that involves giving him or her up for adoption or not. Abortions do have a negative moral weight and consequences, but they should not be needed. 

This article was originally published in Portsmouth Point Magazine, July 2013

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In Defence of Warhammer (40k)

by Tim MacBain

I can be, in many ways, classified as a nerd. Or a geek. Never understood the difference, so I think it’s a good idea to cover both bases. I play Xbox and computer games, I love fantasy fiction, especially epic/high fantasy, and I actually enjoy doing homework. Of course, that last fact is a moot point, since I will never be given work titled homework again, but hey-ho. It is through this classification, and the title of this article, that you all should be able to work out that I like Warhammer. Specifically, Warhammer 40000, colloqueally known as 40k.

Since I got involved in 40k in Year Eight, I have faced nothing but derision, mocking and (occasionally) insults about my participation in this hobby, arguably forming one of the causes of my hiatus from 40k since Year 10. However, seeing as I am leaving so very soon, I have no qualms about the significant dent my ‘reputation’ may well now take from this article. For Warhammer does not deserve the sad, introverted status is holds currently. I have taken it upon myself to explain why.

Warhammer is in fact a multifaceted art. Although expensive (at least £1.80 per model, and that’s really rather rare), one has to assemble the models from scratch, paint them, customise them (if you want – I very rarely bothered), and then game with them. I have heard that those applying for dentistry are required to provide evidence of their ability to work precisely with their hands, and Warhammer is on the list of approved activities. The painting, for me the most arduous part, is no different from painting art sculptures or miniature paintings, or perhaps somewhat better, for at least you are actually going to use that which you are painting, still requiring much skill and precision whilst understanding which colours go with which. The gaming side, often seen as the ‘saddest’ part, is surprisingly difficult. The rulebook is a lengthy tome (my friends and I used to joke about, reading from it as if it were the Bible – anything to make the trawling through the dense prose more enjoyable), featuring rules ranging from the determining of the casualties taken from a single ‘Blast’ weapon to the maximum number of models in a unit. Writing that sentence, I realise that it could be seen as rather sad. I would disagree – it is not sad, rather those who do not know Warhammer don’t understand the attraction of it, and if you’ll forgive my descent into half-baked psychology, one fears and derides what one does not understand, resulting in a negative adjective being assigned.

In addition, the classic image of a lonely 13 year old in thick, horn-rimmed glasses, alone in his room, crouched over a desk with a single lamp lighting his work, a small model which he is painting a plethora of different colours, is simply untrue. Well, not entirely; I freely admit I did that once (minus the glasses; I added those to the image for effect), and it resulted in the pride of my collection, my Terminators, a shining beacon of what a young teenager can do with no training or much guidance other than what he had picked up from his friends. However, it is very rare that someone stays at home for more than 40% of his hobbying time. Meeting others who play the game, socialising, swapping tips and tactics, and generally having a great time with other people is what the majority of Warhammer is about. I still remember with great affection my 14^th Birthday celebration, when I invited three friends (who shall remain nameless to preserve their sanity) to mine for a large ‘Apocalypse’ battle. Yeah, we got a bit of stick when some people found out, and the battle fizzled out into a tense draw, but we actually had an enormous amount of fun, and I still consider them some of my greatest friends to this very day.

I read an article in The Independent the other day, which defended the vast sums paid to footballers. It did so by comparing them to celebrity stars such as Robert Downey Jr and Justin Bieber, who get paid a heck of a lot more for doing the same thing, entertaining. I shall use the same concept to defend Warhammer; by comparing it to computer and video gaming. This still has a reputation of being ‘sad’, but does not bring out such a knee-jerk reaction of “My god, you don’t play THAT, do you?!?”. Neither computer nor video gamers have anything to show for their craft, aside from possibly a bit of RSI and some numbers on a screen. Yes, there are conventions they can go to and win prizes (which are quite something I’ve heard), but these are few and far between, and require you to be playing at the very highest echelons of skill, which many people, needless to say, do not achieve. We who play Warhammer have a well-crafted collection to show, communicate with others face to face rather than across the Internet, and have no injuries at all (unless you step on a model, which is very painful, both from the sharp model itself and the angry owner you have just robbed of a prized item).

To play, one also needs a large skill set. This is my area of speciality. Some others find it a little long-winded, but to me it is the highlight of a long and sometimes irritating journey. You need to be able to judge distances (in inches), spot weaknesses in your opponent’s units, and ascertain the correct time to bring those reserves in. In the real world, you learn how to negotiate quickly and effectively (nobody likes someone who shouts at you until they get their way, and life doesn’t work like that), to lose graciously when you’ve given your all, and how to make friends whilst concentrating on something completely different. Schools place heavy emphasis on sport and academia, and secondary emphasis on music and drama, on ways to learn life skills such as concentration, commitment, and interaction. Well what happens if you aren’t very good at/aren’t enormously interested in those four elements? You have to look elsewhere for such lessons, and, if played properly, Warhammer can provide them. Of course, other activities can (I would personally highly recommend music, especially Chamber Choir), but Warhammer doesn’t deserve the reputation it currently has.

At some point in the last paragraph (just after ‘sport’, if you’re counting), I passed 1,000 words. You could see this as a rant; I have tried not to, but apologise if I have slipped into that tone. I will end with this, a challenge of sorts. Does that kid in your year, always reading White Dwarf in the Library at break, deserve your mocking derision? If you see a group of your peers in the Quad clustered round the latest Space Marines Codex, should you muscle in on their conversation and tell them to stop being so sad and do something that “everyone else does, ‘cause everyone else will like you then”? If you’re asked to do a presentation in English or your Tutor Group, why laugh at they who takes you through his pride and joy, his large collection of Tau?

Dara O’Briain puts it really rather well. “Non-nerds, don’t fear us. We’re gentle folk.” Don’t fear us, and we won’t fear you. Deal?

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You’re Not Too Cool For Summer School

by Gregory Walton-Green

My class

I was somewhat reluctant to relinquish two weeks of my holiday this summer, which I could have spent lounging around the house and the beach, to go to a summer school in Ancient Greek at Bryanston School, Dorset. Now, having gone and with time to reflect, I am so glad I did sign up for it. 

It can’t be denied that there was a lot of work to do: each student had three one-hour lessons most days of the week, and we were expected to prepare work between each session for the next. The summer school was much larger than I was expecting: there were over 200  girls and 150 boys between the ages of 16 and 25, from absolute beginners to those studying Ancient Greek at University, gathered in one place for one purpose- to learn! I was one of the first to arrive, and I was a bit nervous as to how I’d get on with the people I’d be spending the next 14 days of my life with, especially as I was in a room of four. I needn’t have worried. I made friends so easily, with everyone being in the same boat. It was amazing to meet so many people who also wanted to study Classics. Through the summer school I have made some really good friends with whom I intend to stay in contact.

The entry of Agamemnon

Yes, it’s true there was a LOT of work. My tutor told me that we covered the amount of text prescribed for an A-level several times over. And I did have to stay up until midnight a few nights, just to get all the work done. But there was so much more to it than just the work. As I went through the week I found I got quicker at translating and learning so that I had more free time to go to the café with a few friends, or relax in my room, or play tennis, or read a book! 

There was also a whole range of extra-curricular events you could get involved in. The summer school put on two plays, a comedy in English (Lysistrata: filled with sexual innuendo and hilariously, albeit cringeworthily, adapted to include pop songs such as Rebecca Black’s “Friday” reinvented as “Praying” and a more explicit version of Britney Spears “Hit Me Baby One More Time”), and a tragedy, Agamemnon, in Greek, in which I played the herald (see photograph above). There was also the opportunity to help with props and costumes for both plays, as well as to showcase your musical talent in the concert, which included performances involving everything from playing a bin as a drum to choral and orchestral arrangements. 

In the evening, pupils could visit the school bar and “The Rave Cave” (it didn’t always live up to its reputation) or brave a trek into town through the woods or along the ridiculously long drive to reach the pub, if you could spare the time from studying. One of the best things about the summer school was the incredible array of lunchtime lectures and evening seminars on offer, all by professional Classicists from top schools and universities who had a real interest in the particular topic they were presenting. The lectures were thoroughly engaging and often amusing (Costas Panayotakis’ one-man show of the Roman version of Agamemnon springs to mind). I wouldn’t trade the experience for the world (for one thing the world would be a nightmare to organise!)

At the first themed party

Ok, I know what you’re all thinking: “Why would I want to waste my summer holiday, when I’ve finally got some time off school to relax, to go off for a week or two, with some people I’ve never met, to STUDY?” 

I must admit that I’d never really considered a summer school before last year, and had much the same opinion as you, but now, having actually been on a summer school, I urge you all to give it a go. Not only can it give you something to write on your personal statement, but, especially if it’s subject specific, it can help you understand so much more about the course you’re planning on doing at University, and give you an insight into the kind of work and the kinds of people that you might see there. Who knows, you might even have some fun.

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A Warning To Voters Down Under...

by Will Wallace

Will Tony Abbott (left) replace Kevin Rudd (right)
as Australian Prime Minister today?
(source: resources1.news.com.au)

Today, voters are being met with a choice about the future of their nation, and it is a very clear decision: change or continuity? It’s the same question that we face at every election, but for Australians, it is particularly important that they don’t make the wrong choice. Today is a turning point in that country’s history.

I’m the sort of person who loves politics - which probably makes me a bit of a loser - so much so that I have an insatiable desire to explore the current affairs of places beyond the shores of Britain. What fascinates me is where consensus and the centre-ground differ between each country: the United States is undoubtedly skewed towards being more conservative than Europe, as there are American “liberals” (Democrats) that see eye-to-eye with Dutch “conservatives” (Volkspartij voor Vrijheid en Democratie), for example. This is why a lot of people find it bizarre that my fingers are crossed for the Australian Labor Party to be re-elected next week. The leader of the Australian Liberal Party (which is nothing like the UK Liberal Democrats, but is quite conservative) is a fool named Tony Abbott. 

Why is he a fool?

(1) In 2009, he overthrew his predecessor Malcolm Turnbull, who would have made a fine Prime Minister.

(2) He doesn’t believe in climate change.

(3) He acts in his own interests, not the country’s.This third point is undoubtedly the most severe, as it is duty of elected officials to legislate and make the decisions that will benefit those that have elected them.

The last six years of Labor government in the land of Oz have seen huge strides made in the right direction: a National Broadband Network, a tax on high levels of carbon emissions, improved relations with Aboriginal Australians, record investment in schools and hospitals, the Disability Care program, the eradication of institutionalised discrimination against the LGBT community, the creation of nearly a million jobs since Labor entered government in 2007, and, perhaps most importantly, the fact that the economy bucked the global trend by not entering recession in 2008 and, instead, becoming the fastest-growing in the world. Yet, despite all the achievements, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is set to be booted out of The Lodge (the Australian equivalent of 10 Downing St) tonight.

So what alternative does Abbott offer? 

A Liberal government will replace the NBN with an expensive and slower system, scrap the carbon tax which has reduced emissions by up to 7% in the space of a year, discontinue legislation that aims to improve Aboriginal rights, drastically cut public sector spending and oppose efforts to equalise marriage; it will put the national economy in jeopardy thanks to plans to severely reduce infrastructure investment. Unfortunately, the Murdoch-run media in Australia has played a significant hand in bolstering support for the Liberals, at Labor’s expense, and it is more than likely that the country will have a new government with a new approach and a new threat to society and the economy.

Australia, you have been warned. Brace yourselves for three years of hell.

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