PORTSMOUTHPOINT

  • Subscribe to our RSS feed.
  • Twitter
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Facebook
  • Digg

Thursday, October 25, 2012

The 'Ginger' Issue

Posted on 6:49 AM by Unknown
by Charlie Albuery

I’m going to have to start with a disclaimer. Just so we’re all clear, I understand that prejudice is still an issue in modern society and I don’t mean to make light of that; this article is purely intended to entertain.
The world’s largest sperm bank, Cyros, has recently stopped accepting donations from people with red hair.  If we ‘gingers’ begin to die out, I will be legitimately angry at whoever made that decision.
In the last fifty years, all forms of prejudice have become unacceptable in our society and those who show prejudice are quite rightly ostracised.  Due to the suffragettes and a huge amount of nagging, women have now got it into their heads that they have equal rights too (I am joking, of course!).
But, seriously, much like the Hydra from Greek mythology, you cut one head from the awful beast that is prejudice and another crops up. People feel they need someone to ostracize and, as all forms of prejudice become unacceptable, the prejudiced must start scraping the barrel of -isms.
I am talking, of course, of ‘ginger-ism’
As someone with orange hair, I feel I must do my part to end prejudice in this world, so here come the three reasons you should love gingers:

(image: villagegreen.com)
1 – Gingers Are Straight-Up Awesome
Some of the toughest people in the world are ginger. And, by some of the toughest people in the world, I mean: Chuck Norris. Go tell him he hasn’t got a soul (see South Park, below) and you won’t have a face…
It’s widely accepted that gingers make the best sidekicks. You all know where I’m going with this. Without his trusty sidekick, Ron, Harry Potter would never have got a flying car, and, without Amy Pond, the eleventh doctor would’ve . . . well . . . OK. Fine. Amy Pond never did anything useful (but come on, guys).

(image: drwhovians.com)
Also, me.

(image: comicvine.com)
2 – Everybody Loves an Underdog
Who wants to see the Empire win when you watch Star Wars (those few of you who are thinking ‘yes’ in an attempt to spite me, you are dead inside)? The fact is that we root for the loveable band of misfits fighting to overcome the big society. In this (relatively convoluted) metaphor, the gingers are the rebels and everybody else in the universe is the Empire.
If I may continue this metaphor (which I can), South Park is basically the Death Star.
The rumour perpetuated by popular animated series South Park that I, and other gingers like me, do not have a soul, has become more a part of pop-culture than the rumour that RIngo was never a part of the Beatles (no, I will not let that go!).

3 – This Stuff Just Isn’t True!
Ok, this is the one where I get angry.
It’s nothing to do with copper.
I have a soul.
My mother didn’t eat Wotsits while pregnant.
And, believe it or not, I’m relatively good-humoured. If you can come up with an interesting and genuinely funny ginger joke please tell me. I haven’t heard one in a long time.

So, in conclusion, you’re all storm troopers and I’m Chewbacca. We all know who wins there.
Email ThisBlogThis!Share to XShare to FacebookShare to Pinterest
Posted in Blog Exclusive | No comments
Newer Post Older Post Home

0 comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Popular Posts

  • Recipe: Fifteens
     by Patrick McGuiggan The definitive Northern Ireland traybake is the ‘Fifteen’. They are so delicious I assumed that they would be fairly ...
  • 'Porphyria's Lover': A Feminist Reading
    Josh Rampton offers a Feminist reading of Robert Browning's poem 'Porphyria's Lover'. This article was originally published ...
  • Favourite Films: Skyfall
    by Tom Harper Upon my recent exploration of the latest movie archives I was stopped dead in my tracks by Disney and Pixar’s recent announcem...
  • Interview: with Melissa Smith of ‘The Exonerated’
    by Taylor Richardson Melissa Smith , who plays a main role in the school’s production of The Exonerated , answers five questions surroundi...
  • Why Are We So Fascinated By The Gothic?
    Lucy Cole The Nightmare by John Henry Fuseli, 1781 (wiki commons) Since its humble beginnings in 1764, with Horace Walpole’s The Castle of O...
  • Portsmouth Point Poetry – War and Humanity in 'The Iliad'
    by George Laver  Priam (left) pleads with Achilles (centre) for the return of the body of his son, Hector (below). (source: bc.edu)    ...
  • Is Texting Killing The English Language?
    In this  TED talk , linguist John McWhorter analyses the linguistics of texting: " Texting properly isn’t writing at all — it’s actual...
  • Hackers: Pain Relief
    by Gregory Walton-Green , with an introduction by Benjamin Schofield Introduction Prompted by a writing exercise in Hackers, here Gregory ...
  • Is Lack of Sleep a Problem for PGS Pupils?
    by Hattie Gould and Annie Materna (image source: uratexblog.com) Sleep deprivation is a continual problem for teenagers and can be the caus...
  • Why The US Supreme Court Has Made The Right Decision Regarding Gene Patenting
    by Tim Bustin (source: biopoliticaltimes.org) On Thursday, the US Supreme Court ruled that human genes may not be patented, as “a naturally ...

Categories

  • Art and Literature (72)
  • Blog Exclusive (466)
  • Creative Writing (36)
  • Current Affairs (55)
  • Economics (12)
  • Film and Drama (62)
  • Food (12)
  • From Parents (1)
  • From Teachers (54)
  • Hackers (12)
  • History (21)
  • Language (17)
  • MUN (1)
  • Music (58)
  • Personal (45)
  • Philosophy and Religion (20)
  • Photography (66)
  • Psychology (13)
  • Science and Tech (41)
  • Sport (58)
  • Travel (14)

Blog Archive

  • ►  2013 (346)
    • ►  September (21)
    • ►  August (20)
    • ►  July (43)
    • ►  June (52)
    • ►  May (42)
    • ►  April (41)
    • ►  March (42)
    • ►  February (38)
    • ►  January (47)
  • ▼  2012 (153)
    • ►  December (41)
    • ►  November (48)
    • ▼  October (45)
      • The True Public Health Crisis of the 21st Century
      • Review: A Broken Rose
      • Is God responsible for everything that happens in ...
      • Review: Skyfall
      • Misunderstood Movie Villains
      • How Effective Is Our Prison System?
      • A Slice of Enlightenment – answering some of the g...
      • The 'Ginger' Issue
      • How Do You Solve a Problem Like the Euro?
      • Best and Worst Teams of the Week
      • Kick Racism Out Of Football!
      • Review: Looper
      • Review: Allelujah! Don’t Bend! Ascend! By Godspeed...
      • A Nation Mourns, But Comes of Age
      • ‘Anna Karenina’: A Review
      • President of the Internet?
      • Man Booker Prize Winner 2012: Bring Up The Bodies
      • Review: Green Day - ¡Uno!
      • 21 Things you Couldn’t Do Before You Turned Sixteen
      • Photography Club: The Eye
      • Aesthetics Are A Moral Imperative
      • Hackers: Forest of Light and Dark
      • On The Road
      • US 2012: The Latin American Dream
      • Out of the void . . . and then?
      • 'How Is There Something Rather Than Nothing?'
      • A Universe From Nothing
      • Great Gatsby: The Movie
      • Best and Worst Bond Films
      • Two Reviews of Adele's Skyfall.
      • All About Me!
      • Why The Nobel Prize System Needs To Change
      • Premier League: Best and Worst Teams of the Week
      • ICC WORLD T20: A Memorable Finish
      • Ryder Cup 2012: Greatest Comeback in Golfing History
      • Double Delight for Heroic Hampshire: Season Review...
      • In Defence of Eric Hobsbawm
      • In Memory of Amália Rodrigues: The Queen of Fado
      • With the Beatles in Portsmouth
      • US Election: How Much Is Too Much?
      • Five Reasons To Treasure The Portmuthian
      • Muse: The 2nd Law – Magnificence or Madness?
      • Portsmouth Point Poetry: Field of Autumn
      • Shakespeare: Modern Art
      • Review: Tempest by Bob Dylan
    • ►  September (19)
Powered by Blogger.

About Me

Unknown
View my complete profile